You know you’ve done it. You know your parents want to put you up. You know you made that fake account to troll around yourself.
Shaadi.com is made up of so many types of Desi single folks: those who want to shop around since their local NET-IP chapters have run dry with prospects; a select few who put themselves up to quiet the ‘rents; a stellar one or two who give it an honest go. Let’s not mention the questionably shaady suitors — those bastards who are married, in relationships, or even gay — but still need to feed some misguided ego or deeply rooted insecurities.
Having been a paid (yes, a high number of suitors do not pay, thus wasting your time by accepting/declining interests) member for a requisite 6 months, I came away with one, solo date, and a myriad of freak stories. And, in case you’re wondering, that one date kept me waiting in the lobby of the ‘W’ hotel as he took a work call for 45 min. I left at the 46-minute mark.
Am I off? For now. Will I get back on? More than likely.
Having given said this, I wanted share my list of 25 things I hate about Shaadi.com:
1. Men with profiles posted by Parent/Guardian. If he’s your Mama’s boy, you keep him.
2. Men who list their income under $25K. You obviously can’t support yourself, let alone a marriage.
3. Men who are too cheap to pay for a membership.
4. Men who are separated and couldn’t wait for the ink on the divorce papers to dry.
5. Men who stick up photos with baseball caps, berets, or fedoras. You’re bald. We get it.
6. Men who write a two-line description.
7. Men who include typos, demonstrating your sloppiness in paper and probably in…
8. Men that don’t respond to your interest request.
9. Men who accept your request and don’t initiate a follow-up.
10. Men who send one email and then stalk you via Facebook.
11. Men who send you a phone number, and then don’t answer when you call.
12. Men who are 58 years old, drive a tractor in Ludhiana, and have 3 kids.
13. Men who are 21 year, UK-based, aspiring club promoters.
14. Men who are your friends in real life and want to express interest to see if you’d ever accept.
15. Men who hide their profile, unhide their profile, hide their profile…
16. Men who lie about their age and disclose the truth when you speak.
17. Men who stick up headshots, hiding their portly gut.
18. Men who try to be clever by saying, “It’s my first time online…”
19. Men who add their birthdates to their profile name.
20. Men who put up their blood type.
21. Men who talk to you, your BFF and your cousin, both who are also on Shaadi.com.
22. Men who call after 1:00 am and ask you what you’re wearing.
23. Men with profiles that are cross-listed on Match.com, eHarmony.com, and PlentyofFish.com
24. Men who write with emoticons.
25. Men who look nothing like their pic taken 5 years ago.
Awesome list – its all true and hilarious!
Posted by Jas Banwait | December 15, 2010, 11:30 PMOoohh Brown Girl….I loved d observations! Nice one
Posted by Maria | December 15, 2010, 11:34 PMHmm… Classic faeces, some of these!
I should come back with some of my own, later!
Posted by Hayaah | December 16, 2010, 5:59 AMAwesome list, but don’t forget the guys that say they make over $250, but don’t really write what they do, or you know can’t make that much!
Posted by priti | December 16, 2010, 9:52 AMThis is rich material for a stand-up comedian! Unfortunately, it’s also a poignant reminder that finding true love can be hard. (Well, you might rightly argue, “Let alone true love, dear, I can’t even come across half-decent prospects!”)
I am sorry that you have had to wade through a lot of mud and encounter a number of frogs. Yet, I couldn’t help but think about a couple of other things:
(1) Yes, there are many jerks out there, but please understand that the average guy could come up with a similar list of gripes about women on the typical shaadi dotcom. (Come to think of it, there are a number of arguably unisex items on your own list.)
Would it provide any comfort to hear men’s perspectives on dating/matrimony? From a male BFF, perhaps? Now, that won’t cause your complaints to disappear magically. But recognizing that it can be hard for men, too, may help to keep this from potentially becoming about *all* men, not just the men you have encountered and suffered on Shaadi.
(2) How much of this is Shaadi’s fault, really? I mean, you list 25 reasons to hate the site, but it’s actually a list of 25 poor behavioral profiles.
Fault Shaadi for poor quality control; fault the site for condoning poor behavior. Just these two positions of theirs may account for much of your poor experience with the site, but that’s still really only two things, not 25.
Please keep in mind that I don’t mean to defend your typical matrimony dotcom. In fact, I have felt strongly enough about the kind of pain that you have described, to go about building a different kind of matchmaking site. (See http://www.jodi365.com/why-jodi365 )
You write of going “off for now,” and I hope that a break will do you good. It surprises me, though, that you may “more than likely” get back on. If Shaadi is not working, shouldn’t you be looking somewhere else?
When you are ready to get back in the hunt, I’d welcome you to give jodi365.com a spin. If it speaks to you, that’s great; if not, and you’d care to provide some feedback, please write to us at http://www.jodi365.com/contact.
We also tweet @jodi365.
Best regards,
Anil Kumar
@aktxt
Posted by Anil | December 16, 2010, 5:42 PMYou forget guys who ask straight away to see a picture.
Posted by Honest Waffle | December 19, 2010, 2:49 PMNice post and great Information related to Marriage. Thanks
Posted by Indian matrimonial | March 18, 2011, 6:28 AMWhat are you wearing?
Nah, just kidding. Interesting article though
I’m in the process of writing the same but from a guy’s perspective.
Posted by Rahul | April 14, 2011, 8:46 PMHow about the guys who respond to everything that you ask them by writing “lol” or “so what’s new?”
Posted by Vinita | June 10, 2011, 1:34 PMAgree with the commenter about a male’s perspective.
Also, what’s wrong in asking for a picture first? I’m not sure why people aren’t required to put up profiles. Kind of unfair to put up your own pictures but not okay to ask others for them straight away?? Isn’t it your right to know what they look like before initiating some further contact?
Posted by bobc | July 1, 2011, 12:04 AM