You know you’ve done it. You know your parents want to put you up. You know you made that fake account to troll around yourself.
Shaadi.com is made up of so many types of Desi single folks: those who want to shop around since their local NET-IP chapters have run dry with prospects; a select few who put themselves up to quiet the ‘rents; a stellar one or two who give it an honest go. Let’s not mention the questionably shaady suitors — those bastards who are married, in relationships, or even gay — but still need to feed some misguided ego or deeply rooted insecurities.
Having been a paid (yes, a high number of suitors do not pay, thus wasting your time by accepting/declining interests) member for a requisite 6 months, I came away with one, solo date, and a myriad of freak stories. And, in case you’re wondering, that one date kept me waiting in the lobby of the ‘W’ hotel as he took a work call for 45 min. I left at the 46-minute mark.
Am I off? For now. Will I get back on? More than likely.
Having given said this, I wanted share my list of 25 things I hate about Shaadi.com:
1. Men with profiles posted by Parent/Guardian. If he’s your Mama’s boy, you keep him.
2. Men who list their income under $25K. You obviously can’t support yourself, let alone a marriage.
3. Men who are too cheap to pay for a membership.
4. Men who are separated and couldn’t wait for the ink on the divorce papers to dry.
5. Men who stick up photos with baseball caps, berets, or fedoras. You’re bald. We get it.
6. Men who write a two-line description.
7. Men who include typos, demonstrating your sloppiness in paper and probably in…
8. Men that don’t respond to your interest request.
9. Men who accept your request and don’t initiate a follow-up.
10. Men who send one email and then stalk you via Facebook.
11. Men who send you a phone number, and then don’t answer when you call.
12. Men who are 58 years old, drive a tractor in Ludhiana, and have 3 kids.
13. Men who are 21 year, UK-based, aspiring club promoters.
14. Men who are your friends in real life and want to express interest to see if you’d ever accept.
15. Men who hide their profile, unhide their profile, hide their profile…
16. Men who lie about their age and disclose the truth when you speak.
17. Men who stick up headshots, hiding their portly gut.
18. Men who try to be clever by saying, “It’s my first time online…”
19. Men who add their birthdates to their profile name.
20. Men who put up their blood type.
21. Men who talk to you, your BFF and your cousin, both who are also on Shaadi.com.
22. Men who call after 1:00 am and ask you what you’re wearing.
23. Men with profiles that are cross-listed on Match.com, eHarmony.com, and PlentyofFish.com
24. Men who write with emoticons.
25. Men who look nothing like their pic taken 5 years ago.
Awesome list – its all true and hilarious!
Posted by Jas Banwait | December 15, 2010, 11:30 PMOoohh Brown Girl….I loved d observations! Nice one
Posted by Maria | December 15, 2010, 11:34 PMHmm… Classic faeces, some of these!
I should come back with some of my own, later!
Posted by Hayaah | December 16, 2010, 5:59 AMAwesome list, but don’t forget the guys that say they make over $250, but don’t really write what they do, or you know can’t make that much!
Posted by priti | December 16, 2010, 9:52 AMThis is rich material for a stand-up comedian! Unfortunately, it’s also a poignant reminder that finding true love can be hard. (Well, you might rightly argue, “Let alone true love, dear, I can’t even come across half-decent prospects!”)
I am sorry that you have had to wade through a lot of mud and encounter a number of frogs. Yet, I couldn’t help but think about a couple of other things:
(1) Yes, there are many jerks out there, but please understand that the average guy could come up with a similar list of gripes about women on the typical shaadi dotcom. (Come to think of it, there are a number of arguably unisex items on your own list.)
Would it provide any comfort to hear men’s perspectives on dating/matrimony? From a male BFF, perhaps? Now, that won’t cause your complaints to disappear magically. But recognizing that it can be hard for men, too, may help to keep this from potentially becoming about *all* men, not just the men you have encountered and suffered on Shaadi.
(2) How much of this is Shaadi’s fault, really? I mean, you list 25 reasons to hate the site, but it’s actually a list of 25 poor behavioral profiles.
Fault Shaadi for poor quality control; fault the site for condoning poor behavior. Just these two positions of theirs may account for much of your poor experience with the site, but that’s still really only two things, not 25.
Please keep in mind that I don’t mean to defend your typical matrimony dotcom. In fact, I have felt strongly enough about the kind of pain that you have described, to go about building a different kind of matchmaking site. (See http://www.jodi365.com/why-jodi365 )
You write of going “off for now,” and I hope that a break will do you good. It surprises me, though, that you may “more than likely” get back on. If Shaadi is not working, shouldn’t you be looking somewhere else?
When you are ready to get back in the hunt, I’d welcome you to give jodi365.com a spin. If it speaks to you, that’s great; if not, and you’d care to provide some feedback, please write to us at http://www.jodi365.com/contact.
We also tweet @jodi365.
Best regards,
Anil Kumar
@aktxt
Posted by Anil | December 16, 2010, 5:42 PMYou forget guys who ask straight away to see a picture.
Posted by Honest Waffle | December 19, 2010, 2:49 PMNice post and great Information related to Marriage. Thanks
Posted by Indian matrimonial | March 18, 2011, 6:28 AMWhat are you wearing?
Nah, just kidding. Interesting article though
I’m in the process of writing the same but from a guy’s perspective.
Posted by Rahul | April 14, 2011, 8:46 PMHow about the guys who respond to everything that you ask them by writing “lol” or “so what’s new?”
Posted by Vinita | June 10, 2011, 1:34 PMAgree with the commenter about a male’s perspective.
Also, what’s wrong in asking for a picture first? I’m not sure why people aren’t required to put up profiles. Kind of unfair to put up your own pictures but not okay to ask others for them straight away?? Isn’t it your right to know what they look like before initiating some further contact?
Posted by bobc | July 1, 2011, 12:04 AMI agree with the comments on shaadi. My biggest beef or potatoe being a vegetarian is that I encountered many people with fake IDS. Nigerians who pretended to be Indians, as with time I realized that there were many fake IDS and when I insisted to talking to some and who agreed to talk to me, I could hear their Nigerian accent. I even realized a pattern to them. Heres a pattern that I noticed…men who were in their 40s, widowed, had a young child and whose parents were dead. Many of them will ask you send them a number of pictures and many will write long e-mails to you before you even had a connection with them. It was not easy to go through this. I finally gave up on Shaadi.
Doesnt anyone want a beautiful woman (from the outside and inside) who is intelligent and bright and loving and caring and well-rounded with a great personality?
I guess not….
I can add more reasons why not be on shaadi:
1. People with fake IDS
2. Guys who are too young for you and just wanting a connection for fun
3. Guys who just want sex chats
4. Guys who want to come to immigrate to North America
etc.etc…
Where is the genuine, caring, honest, attractive, professional, healthy and fit guy???
Posted by BGill | October 3, 2012, 8:45 PMThere are genuine profiles as well as fake profile on matrimony sites. Definitely guys and girls need to watch out for fake profiles and think before they get serious with, a girl/guy met from online matrimony.
Posted by Raghav | December 13, 2012, 6:52 PMWhy focus on just males?
I guess more than 70% of the profiles there are of inactive users. “She hasn’t viewed your expression of interest yet”.
And quite a few who are not really looking to get married, just fishing around.
Profile of girls from US/Canada/Australia/UK are much better than Indian girls. Yet to come across a profile of an Indian girl who wrote an impressive “About Me”.
“You forget guys who ask straight away to see a picture.”
>> What’s wrong with that, the guy is just being straightforward. Why waste time if you know looks matter to you.
“Beauty is skin deep”…that’s what they say to ugly ones…
Superficial? Whatever! Most people are…that’s why they always take good looking ones in the movies.
Posted by Some Guy | January 18, 2013, 2:32 AMOne of the fake profile details as below on shaadi.com –
Girls please beware of this dangerous person, he will take your money, will have goodie goodie talk wid u, and force you to send a gift to him ….pretending himself as CEO of IT firm to impress the people…not sure about his real name yet….
Telling his name as VINCE KOHLI
Profile id – lovingcaring
Email id – lovingcaring2010@gmail.com
Cell Number – 908 723 6100
Posted by DJ | February 26, 2013, 3:03 PMWhat a load of shit, the statements that are above are not true. I guess the girls that get those type of guys/men/boys are always looking for bad boys and in the end the girls who go for them type of people will get fucked over.
Also the fact that Hindu and Sikh girls always go for Muslims men/boys/guys and will always get fucked over. But would a Muslim girl go out with a Hindu or Sikh man… the answer is no.
Simple as that. Rant over and good bye
Posted by Rickesh | February 27, 2013, 7:37 PMBack here again, you also have Sky channels like for example ZeeTV, B4U, Star Plus, and excreta have Indian TV shows which every Indian there have fair skin. You could call it almost white. Now my rant is about where are all the dark skinned Indian which I find racist or Hitler-ish.
Rant over and bye
Posted by Rickesh | February 27, 2013, 7:49 PMHi, I am strongly apologize for the above complain of Mr. Vince Kohli, I am taking back this complaint as I was looking for the another person and by mistaken wrote the details of wrong person, the person..please delete above complaint comment poste …have tried to call customer care number but in vain as nobody picked the call…….Thanks and let me know your administrator phone number and owner of this page and his available time to call….so then I can proceed to delete above post ……Thank You .
Posted by DJ | March 1, 2013, 12:41 PMWell I just joined shaadi.com and a guy msgd me non stop and seemed quite eager to meet. it took him hours of lame excuses for him to finally send me his pic. I almost fell off my chair when in his profile he wrote very fair skin and slim to what was a dark skinned fairly large man. His profile as opposed to what he msgd me was completely different (including his job) so pretty much the guy was creating a web of lies and screwing it up for himself. His impression was that by sounding like a rich man and advertising is big pay cheque on his profile I would get stuck on him. I would rather a man than a sad idiot trying his best shot to wing a girl in. Poor bugger is now blocked. For all the ppl that are whinging about the opposite sex there is a block button so don’t fear using it.
no need to complain just move on….plenty of others on it. If something doesn’t seem right it probably isnt.
Posted by M | April 29, 2013, 10:28 PMYou are probably brown and ugly and thats why you have that laundry list above. Get over your self pity and get off shaadi if its not working for you!
Goodlooking indian dude.
Posted by Jay | June 15, 2013, 12:34 PM