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25 Things I hate about Shaadi.com

You know you’ve done it. You know your parents want to put you up. You know you made that fake account to troll around yourself.


Shaadi.com is made up of so many types of Desi single folks: those who want to shop around since their local NET-IP chapters have run dry with prospects; a select few who put themselves up to quiet the ‘rents; a stellar one or two who give it an honest go. Let’s not mention the questionably shaady suitors — those bastards who are married, in relationships, or even gay — but still need to feed some misguided ego or deeply rooted insecurities.

Having been a paid (yes, a high number of suitors do not pay, thus wasting your time by accepting/declining interests) member for a requisite 6 months, I came away with one, solo date, and a myriad of freak stories. And, in case you’re wondering, that one date kept me waiting in the lobby of the ‘W’ hotel as he took a work call for 45 min. I left at the 46-minute mark.

Am I off? For now. Will I get back on? More than likely.

Having given said this, I wanted share my list of 25 things I hate about Shaadi.com:

1.     Men with profiles posted by Parent/Guardian. If he’s your Mama’s boy, you keep him.

2.     Men who list their income under $25K. You obviously can’t support yourself, let alone a marriage.

3.     Men who are too cheap to pay for a membership.

4.     Men who are separated and couldn’t wait for the ink on the divorce papers to dry.

5.     Men who stick up photos with baseball caps, berets, or fedoras. You’re bald. We get it.

6.     Men who write a two-line description.

7.     Men who include typos, demonstrating your sloppiness in paper and probably in…

8.     Men that don’t respond to your interest request.

9.     Men who accept your request and don’t initiate a follow-up.

10.   Men who send one email and then stalk you via Facebook.

11.   Men who send you a phone number, and then don’t answer when you call.

12.   Men who are 58 years old, drive a tractor in Ludhiana, and have 3 kids.

13.   Men who are 21 year, UK-based, aspiring club promoters.

14.   Men who are your friends in real life and want to express interest to see if you’d ever accept.

15.   Men who hide their profile, unhide their profile, hide their profile…

16.   Men who lie about their age and disclose the truth when you speak.

17.   Men who stick up headshots, hiding their portly gut.

18.   Men who try to be clever by saying, “It’s my first time online…”

19.   Men who add their birthdates to their profile name.

20.   Men who put up their blood type.

21.   Men who talk to you, your BFF and your cousin, both who are also on Shaadi.com.

22.   Men who call after 1:00 am and ask you what you’re wearing.

23.   Men with profiles that are cross-listed on Match.com, eHarmony.com, and PlentyofFish.com

24.   Men who write with emoticons.

25.   Men who look nothing like their pic taken 5 years ago.

Brown Girl Daily

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Discussion

41 Responses to “25 Things I hate about Shaadi.com”

  1. Awesome list – its all true and hilarious!

    Posted by Jas Banwait | December 15, 2010, 11:30 PM
  2. Ooohh Brown Girl….I loved d observations! Nice one :)

    Posted by Maria | December 15, 2010, 11:34 PM
  3. Hmm… Classic faeces, some of these!

    I should come back with some of my own, later!

    Posted by Hayaah | December 16, 2010, 5:59 AM
  4. Awesome list, but don’t forget the guys that say they make over $250, but don’t really write what they do, or you know can’t make that much!

    Posted by priti | December 16, 2010, 9:52 AM
  5. This is rich material for a stand-up comedian! Unfortunately, it’s also a poignant reminder that finding true love can be hard. (Well, you might rightly argue, “Let alone true love, dear, I can’t even come across half-decent prospects!”)

    I am sorry that you have had to wade through a lot of mud and encounter a number of frogs. Yet, I couldn’t help but think about a couple of other things:

    (1) Yes, there are many jerks out there, but please understand that the average guy could come up with a similar list of gripes about women on the typical shaadi dotcom. (Come to think of it, there are a number of arguably unisex items on your own list.)

    Would it provide any comfort to hear men’s perspectives on dating/matrimony? From a male BFF, perhaps? Now, that won’t cause your complaints to disappear magically. But recognizing that it can be hard for men, too, may help to keep this from potentially becoming about *all* men, not just the men you have encountered and suffered on Shaadi.

    (2) How much of this is Shaadi’s fault, really? I mean, you list 25 reasons to hate the site, but it’s actually a list of 25 poor behavioral profiles.

    Fault Shaadi for poor quality control; fault the site for condoning poor behavior. Just these two positions of theirs may account for much of your poor experience with the site, but that’s still really only two things, not 25.

    Please keep in mind that I don’t mean to defend your typical matrimony dotcom. In fact, I have felt strongly enough about the kind of pain that you have described, to go about building a different kind of matchmaking site. (See http://www.jodi365.com/why-jodi365 )

    You write of going “off for now,” and I hope that a break will do you good. It surprises me, though, that you may “more than likely” get back on. If Shaadi is not working, shouldn’t you be looking somewhere else?

    When you are ready to get back in the hunt, I’d welcome you to give jodi365.com a spin. If it speaks to you, that’s great; if not, and you’d care to provide some feedback, please write to us at http://www.jodi365.com/contact.

    We also tweet @jodi365.

    Best regards,

    Anil Kumar
    @aktxt

    Posted by Anil | December 16, 2010, 5:42 PM
  6. You forget guys who ask straight away to see a picture.

    Posted by Honest Waffle | December 19, 2010, 2:49 PM
  7. Nice post and great Information related to Marriage. Thanks

    Posted by Indian matrimonial | March 18, 2011, 6:28 AM
  8. What are you wearing?

    Nah, just kidding. Interesting article though ;-)

    I’m in the process of writing the same but from a guy’s perspective.

    Posted by Rahul | April 14, 2011, 8:46 PM
  9. How about the guys who respond to everything that you ask them by writing “lol” or “so what’s new?”

    Posted by Vinita | June 10, 2011, 1:34 PM
  10. Agree with the commenter about a male’s perspective.

    Also, what’s wrong in asking for a picture first? I’m not sure why people aren’t required to put up profiles. Kind of unfair to put up your own pictures but not okay to ask others for them straight away?? Isn’t it your right to know what they look like before initiating some further contact?

    Posted by bobc | July 1, 2011, 12:04 AM
  11. I agree with the comments on shaadi. My biggest beef or potatoe being a vegetarian is that I encountered many people with fake IDS. Nigerians who pretended to be Indians, as with time I realized that there were many fake IDS and when I insisted to talking to some and who agreed to talk to me, I could hear their Nigerian accent. I even realized a pattern to them. Heres a pattern that I noticed…men who were in their 40s, widowed, had a young child and whose parents were dead. Many of them will ask you send them a number of pictures and many will write long e-mails to you before you even had a connection with them. It was not easy to go through this. I finally gave up on Shaadi.

    Doesnt anyone want a beautiful woman (from the outside and inside) who is intelligent and bright and loving and caring and well-rounded with a great personality?

    I guess not….

    I can add more reasons why not be on shaadi:
    1. People with fake IDS
    2. Guys who are too young for you and just wanting a connection for fun
    3. Guys who just want sex chats
    4. Guys who want to come to immigrate to North America
    etc.etc…

    Where is the genuine, caring, honest, attractive, professional, healthy and fit guy???

    Posted by BGill | October 3, 2012, 8:45 PM
  12. There are genuine profiles as well as fake profile on matrimony sites. Definitely guys and girls need to watch out for fake profiles and think before they get serious with, a girl/guy met from online matrimony.

    Posted by Raghav | December 13, 2012, 6:52 PM
  13. Why focus on just males?

    I guess more than 70% of the profiles there are of inactive users. “She hasn’t viewed your expression of interest yet”.

    And quite a few who are not really looking to get married, just fishing around.

    Profile of girls from US/Canada/Australia/UK are much better than Indian girls. Yet to come across a profile of an Indian girl who wrote an impressive “About Me”.

    “You forget guys who ask straight away to see a picture.”
    >> What’s wrong with that, the guy is just being straightforward. Why waste time if you know looks matter to you.
    “Beauty is skin deep”…that’s what they say to ugly ones…
    Superficial? Whatever! Most people are…that’s why they always take good looking ones in the movies.

    Posted by Some Guy | January 18, 2013, 2:32 AM
  14. What a load of shit, the statements that are above are not true. I guess the girls that get those type of guys/men/boys are always looking for bad boys and in the end the girls who go for them type of people will get fucked over.

    Also the fact that Hindu and Sikh girls always go for Muslims men/boys/guys and will always get fucked over. But would a Muslim girl go out with a Hindu or Sikh man… the answer is no.

    Simple as that. Rant over and good bye

    Posted by Rickesh | February 27, 2013, 7:37 PM
  15. Back here again, you also have Sky channels like for example ZeeTV, B4U, Star Plus, and excreta have Indian TV shows which every Indian there have fair skin. You could call it almost white. Now my rant is about where are all the dark skinned Indian which I find racist or Hitler-ish.

    Rant over and bye

    Posted by Rickesh | February 27, 2013, 7:49 PM
  16. Well I just joined shaadi.com and a guy msgd me non stop and seemed quite eager to meet. it took him hours of lame excuses for him to finally send me his pic. I almost fell off my chair when in his profile he wrote very fair skin and slim to what was a dark skinned fairly large man. His profile as opposed to what he msgd me was completely different (including his job) so pretty much the guy was creating a web of lies and screwing it up for himself. His impression was that by sounding like a rich man and advertising is big pay cheque on his profile I would get stuck on him. I would rather a man than a sad idiot trying his best shot to wing a girl in. Poor bugger is now blocked. For all the ppl that are whinging about the opposite sex there is a block button so don’t fear using it. :) no need to complain just move on….plenty of others on it. If something doesn’t seem right it probably isnt.

    Posted by M | April 29, 2013, 10:28 PM
  17. You are probably brown and ugly and thats why you have that laundry list above. Get over your self pity and get off shaadi if its not working for you!

    Goodlooking indian dude.

    Posted by Jay | June 15, 2013, 12:34 PM
  18. Typical male bashing post .

    Almost all of it applies to females on that site too and some more.

    So it works both ways.

    Equal number of BS girls on that site as well , wouldn’t be surprised if you are one of them.

    Women are no saints and neither are men.

    Good and bad exists in equal numbers in both gender’s , and same goes for the profiles of both sexes on shaadi.com

    Posted by Self Pity is not good | September 29, 2013, 9:57 PM
  19. I totally agre with the list, I had bitter experience through shaadi.com and I wrote to the team about the same. It was just waste of my and my parents time energy and money disgusting to waste. After 10 month of getting to know a guy and when things got serious his mother rejected me. Him being a mama’s boy couldn’t take a stand and make her understand. When I came to know this ridiculous thing I backed off but I was so angry at him for wasting my and my families time. I deleted my profile from shaadi.com

    Posted by Priya | November 23, 2013, 5:27 PM
  20. Well said…. Same things I observed aswel. I m from Melbourne Aus.

    Posted by Priya | November 23, 2013, 5:29 PM
  21. Shaadi.com is a scam. Read this carefully. I have been using it for many years, and absolutely no result came out. Over the few years I have paid for 3 months membership several times. When I was on free membership, or expired paid membership often I receive some interest from some profile that looks decent, and attractive. I accepted the interest. And the other person sent no further communication, then you feel compelled to write and take the interest further. So I pay the membership money just for the sake of sending out that email. And guess what as soon as you pay for the membership and are able to send emails, the profile who sent you the interest just disappears! So the conclusion is shaadi.com makes fake profiles and send interests to people with free profile who can be potentially good victims. To hook you on paying for membership! Once you pay then you realize the interest was fake, all it meant was to make me pay for membership.

    Posted by Shaadi.com's real user of many years | December 8, 2013, 5:39 PM
  22. Hahaha Well second hand(used), selfish greedy females deserves such males.

    Posted by Mohan | December 15, 2013, 9:25 AM
  23. quit hatin…

    Posted by Proud Mama's Boy... | December 21, 2013, 12:01 AM
  24. haha funny! thanks for blogging em and true that! I have observed such profiles too.

    also I’m dismayed by the negative comments I saw about shaadi dotcom. some men complained that married woman are trying to hook up using this website which is quite sad. why the heck do they do that? I BELIEVE GOOD AND BAD exist in both sexes. OPEN YOUR EYES if you are willing to find your better half online. i set up a profile recently. if i wont find him online may be God will help me find him offline(in real life). anyway dont give up. experiences should make you be a stronger and better you. by that i mean you have to be really careful especially if you meet someone online but not all are bad. good luck!

    Posted by nissi | January 28, 2014, 3:18 PM
  25. Well, most of the women on shaadi are females with broken hearts. I was chatting with a girl on shaadi and she said her ex-bf dumped her 2 days ago, so she’s just looking for a fall-back guy to quickly mend her heart.

    Furthermore, she’s still friends with all her exes – she had like 5 of them. This is the quality of girls you find on shaadi – down-trodden, poor, slutty without any real class or profession.

    I think I’ll find a girl the old fashioned way – through friends/family/workplace.

    Posted by Dr. Rahul | January 28, 2014, 3:55 PM
  26. Seriously, dont be a mean witch.
    I don`t support such websites much but lets not be negative.
    You got a problem with a mama`s boy. Then why you love your brother don you, why, oh I know because, he is a mama`s boy, oh no wait, sorry, its good to be a mama`s boy as long as he`s not your husband,,,…RIGHT………!!!
    Supporting family, if earning is the only thing supporting family, you would have been well bread by your support, oh too rude,, sorry but first learn to earn and save and nurture to understand what support means. U never know, marrying a rich guy who might loose it all later or a genuine guy who might get lucky by you. Just a brotherly suggestion, dont go for rich, perfect or Mr. Mc. dreamy, go for one who can talk sense and a man of worth, rest all fall apart with time.
    Again cheap is clever when you do it, its just cheap when others do.

    Believe me,I can literally reply each of what you wrote but I do respect women and I know its tough on the other side of the hedge but don be so negative.
    And trust me my lady, on website you can find only two type of genuine guys. First the ones whose guardian/siblings posted their profiles because they are more concerned. The other who might have some problem like bald and stuff but still looking for genuine relationship for life.
    Well everything else is pretty crap especially on guys profiles that I accept. Just don`t keep chatting like you are dying, let your elders talk first and then try to know him.
    Wishing you Luck.

    Posted by Raghav | March 1, 2014, 11:26 AM
  27. Funny and witty, but in all honesty, you would not believe the type of women you meet on there as well! Their behavior can be as annoying as men’s!

    1) You’re the fall-back guy cause she’s still shopping for other men
    2) She just broke up and wants someone to talk to and spoil her
    3) They send you interest or accept your interest, but then can’t be bothered to correspond unless you spoon feed them conversation
    4) No pictures posted – you do realize you are on a dating website? We are just supposed to take what you WRITE at face value? LOL
    5) The number of women who will list themselves fair, or athletic and skinny, and you instead are confronted by a behemoth is common!
    6) The large numbers of women who have to have mummy or daddy put up their profile – you’re a grown woman, think for yourself!!

    Posted by Dan Vargas | March 7, 2014, 9:34 AM
  28. No surprise that the author is unmarried. The misandry in this post is nothing but sour grapes in my opinion. Newsflash: guys aren’t interested in you because of your attitude. I suggest you lose it.

    Posted by Shekhar | March 17, 2014, 1:54 AM
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    wedding planner ludhiana

    Posted by kingsvilleresorts | May 18, 2014, 11:37 PM
  30. Jay, your last line shows what self-absorbed loser you are. What do you look like? Not a good-looking Indian dude, but probably a brown, ugly, stinking pig. You’re exactly like the men written about in that list. You’re just like the creeps on Shaadi, but are trying to cover up for yourself.

    Posted by Vrinda | May 25, 2014, 12:18 PM
  31. Woila! really funny but listen some of the hilarious answer I got when girl was not interested in me (did I tell you I am bald Indian guy?).

    - “Sorry, I have not get time to check your profile as I have an leg injury and couldn’t get time!” Lol!!! I did remind her once but got no reply.

    - “Can you give me your photo in which I can see your back?” I shaved my head you stupid girl. ha ha ha

    - This one is a real cracker.
    Girl: “Hi, how are you?”
    Me: “I’m fine, thanks.”
    Girl: “Btw, may I know how much you earn and are you living on rent or you have your own house?”
    Me: “(bit laughed) don’t worry I earn handsomely and living on rent”
    Girl: “But then why are you marrying when you are not settled?”
    Me: “(shocked) I believe I’m settled”
    Girl: “But you didn’t buy house?”
    Me: (speechless… hung up the phone)

    Btw, all the girls claimed to be coming from educated family and ‘m not making this. They written in their profile!!! Lol

    Posted by Looking for my name? A guy | May 29, 2014, 12:23 AM
  32. Still matrimony sites are really doing a very good job, Specially shaadi.com and it allow lot of security features and filters as well. Just use better filters :-)

    Posted by Shaily | June 1, 2014, 2:09 PM
  33. I checked multiple site but I think bharat matrimony is doing little better. Though please visit http://www.7phere.co.in as well , its also good

    Posted by Ashutosh | June 1, 2014, 2:11 PM
  34. Most of the profiles on shaadi.com are of average or so so looking girls who get rejected many times & some are too greedy with high expectations of money from husband. Those girls themselves earn 2- 4 lakh per annum but they want husband with package of 15- 20 lakh. What the hell ? Why do they expect everything from husband ? Only divorcees & widow girls are humble on shaadi.com & those who are never married they are just greedy or low budget material who can not find descent guy in their local network. Very few never married girls are ideal & descent.

    Posted by Amit Singh | September 5, 2014, 6:55 AM
  35. Wow…..this list seems rather insightful. It also seems considerably authentic. You can tell that this is a woman that has been through all of the nooks and crannies of shaadi.com and has had a difficult time finding a mate. Just because you have been scorned by your attempts at finding a partner via the wild wild web doesn’t mean that you must become such a curmudgeon. Step outside, into the daylight, and find yourself a mate (in person) like a normal human being (like our parents and generations previous theirs’ have done, who seem to have formed solid connections and created long lasting marriages as a product). Lastly, I apologize on behalf of all the men that have clearly (based on all the experiences one would have had to have gone through to compile such a list) not responded to your thirst for them, whether it be through email, phone, text, pokes/winks, and all other electronic-based communication. They just weren’t interested brown girl. It’s alright though, you will find your boring, meek, child-bodied, soft-spoken, diabetes-riddled, non-courageous, 6-figure salaried hubby soon enough.
    From one Indian man to (what I believe is) and Indian woman, take it one step at a time and good luck!

    Posted by nikky jay | October 1, 2014, 3:22 PM
  36. This is totally biased post against men particularly. All of the allegations here applies to brides too.

    Matrimony sites are well known for fake ids mostly created by them selves to attract customers and make buy paid membership.

    There are actually more number of cheater girl ids on any matrimony site in India. This is not just about shaadi.com.

    Ignore girls profile when they hesitate to talk over phone.

    Ignore girls profiles when they say they want to first chat and later will talk on phone, or have to take permission of parents to talk over phone.

    Ignore girls who initiate contact and hesitate to show their pic to you.

    Ignore girls at any cost who is remarrying and had harassed X husband by filling cases of anti dowry or alimoy/maintenance. There has been rampant misuse of women centric biased laws in India.

    Posted by dhaval | October 10, 2014, 10:01 PM
  37. I don’t resound….. I don’t like your face at all, but still just not to make you fell rejected, I don’t reply

    Don’t want to show your pictures….. Ask your mom to find a guy for you that you will see on the day of marriage

    You have send an invitation…and you want me to initiate the follow up

    Facebook……. It’s the one place I can’t know you better than you.know yourself

    So…..I can write 99 weird things about what I have seen

    Posted by Blah blah | October 30, 2014, 3:41 AM

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